Where is God When you Need Him

Shonna talks about how it is being a Christian with a strong faith and not feeling God's presence. Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean that you will always feel God right beside you, especially in the most difficult days. How do we ask God to show Himself when we need Him the most!

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to His Light in the Darkness podcast. I am Shauna Fontaine. I started this podcast inspired by a devotional that I wrote talking about depression, anxiety, grief, fear, worry, addiction, basically to bring light, his light, in the darkness. Today I wanted to talk about when we have a strong faith, but we don't feel God's presence. So there have been many times that I've, you know, not wavered in my faith, but do you feel God's presence in that moment? And you are saying, okay, I'm a Christian, right? I believe God is there for me. He is faithful because what do we know? God is always faithful. We are the ones that are lacking, but God is always faithful. And I had a friend who was suffering with a physical ailment and they couldn't get a diagnosis. So she was not doing well. And I'll be honest, I went to visit her because I knew that she wasn't doing good. And when I walked in, I thought that was going to be the last moment that I saw her. I she looked so frail and so sick, and the doctors had no answers. And, you know, she would tell me, I don't feel God. I feel like I'm praying. I feel like I'm here. You know, my faith hasn't wavered, but I'm asking God to heal me. I'm asking God to be there. And where is He? Now her faith was strong, you know, and she did say it wasn't that she questioned her faith. It was just, why, God, are you leaving me alone? And I told her, I think God, now this is my personal opinion. I think God allows us to go through really, really bad times to be able to say, I need you, Lord. I need you right now. And you know what? I'm strong, but I need you to carry me. And, you know, who knows if I'm right. I'm not God, so I can't speak for him. But I feel like sometimes we are pushed to the limit and we are pushed to that moment where we are just like, okay, God, are you gonna show up? And he's like there, going, I've been here the whole time. I've just been waiting. Now, like I said, that's my perspective on it. I'm not God, so I cannot answer for him. But that's what I feel like is we are tested in our faith. And I know that some people on the outside, you know, who aren't Christians looking in, they kind of go, okay, well, you believe in God, you should pray, and he should take care of you, and he should heal. God promised eternal life, you know, but he did not promise that if you believe in me, life is gonna be easy and simple, and I'll always answer your prayers and I'll always, you know. And then people say, then why do you believe? When you sit in God's presence and truly sit, you know, you clear out the day, you clear out your mind, you clear out the chaos that's around you. And if you truly sit in God's presence and you say, I need you, I'm here, I'm listening, then you can feel his peace. And it's something that I've had to learn to do through my life because, hey, we've all, I mean, I've talked about it many times in previous podcasts, all the things, not all the things, but some of the things that I've been through that are very, very difficult. And um, my life scripture is, and some people say life scripture, I say life scripture because it's the one that is always there for me. Yes, scripture is there for you, but this particular one, it's like no matter what's going on in my life, that's where I feel God the most. And it's Psalm 31. In you, O Lord, I take refuge. Let me not be put to shame. And so it's not just those verses, it's the whole chapter. But that's one of the scriptures that I found that if I want to feel his presence, you know, because we get so involved in life and what's going on, and we're so concentrated on our own life, what's you know, what's happening. And when I sit and I read that, so what I'll do is I'll read the scripture and I'll just sit and I'll think about it. Because sometimes you know, if you read something, you like read it, and then you don't think about it. Are you one of those? Oh, I'm gonna read a book, and then you get like three pages in, you go, I don't even remember what happened. So I gotta go back and read it again. I was reading it, distracted, started thinking about something else. I don't know if you guys are like that, but um, when I was younger, that's how I used to be. It was not that I couldn't keep focused, it was I have so much to do, and I have a to-do list. And I would think about the to-do list no matter what was going on. And I think if you're gonna read especially scripture, you're gonna try to spend time with God, you need to clear out the mind and get people out of the room. You know, sit in a space that is just very quiet and just say, God, I want to feel you. I want to feel your presence. Now remember, our timeline and God's timeline are two totally different things. I need, I need to feel you right now, Jesus. Um, He is there, but I have found if you sit in silence, if you sit and say, God, I just want to feel you and focus a hundred percent on him, a hundred percent, then that's when you feel his presence. And his presence and the peace that he brings is just so, so extraordinary. It can't be, it can't be described like at all. It cannot be described. It is something that uh so for example, um if things get a little distracting in life, I recenter and focus, you know, okay, God, but uh this world shouldn't be what is bringing me the most joy. Yes, we find joy in friendships and going out to eat, maybe movies, um, being very active, spending time with your kids, you know. But the peace of God is like nothing, you know, nothing that you can describe. It's it's so encompassing of your whole body, you know, and and mind, and you just feel truly filled with just a peace, not a worry. It's so indescribable, you know. I'm trying to describe it, but it's just unless you felt it, if you felt it, you're like, yes, yes, it is there is no worry, there is no pain, there is no sadness. It is just the most calming, calming and happy place that you can be. And as I'm talking about it, you know what it's a good reminder to myself of yes, sitting in God's presence is what you need. So let's, you know, we've talked before. You have down days, you have up days. It's just the normal process of humanity and the human mind. And how do you know if it's a good day, if you don't have a bad day, etc., etc., etc. And uh it's the human mind is just we tend to go towards the negative drama, you know, stare at the bad uh event that's happening over there. And it's very hard to find joy. And you're looking for joy in places that maybe you shouldn't be looking. Maybe you're trying to fight addiction, and it's like, well, it doesn't bring me joy, but it brings me, you know, calm in that moment. Obviously, outside of that moment is not good. But uh spending time with God is just a way that it truly calms the soul. So let's say, like my friend, you know, Sean, I have been praying, God has not answered me, God has not responded, and I'm like, well, maybe God responded, but you just weren't listening. And it's not that you weren't supposed to get well, it was a test of faith in that moment. And I only say that because now she can use her story to help people who are struggling, maybe who are sick, who got a diagnosis that it's not good. And now she can come in and say, hey, I've been through it and empathize and you know, tell people, yeah, I didn't feel God, but I know that he was there. Because she would say that I know he's here, I just don't understand why he's not healing me. And you know what? We're not God. I am definitely not anywhere close. And you wonder why? Why do things happen to people that you would say, okay, they're not this is not supposed to be happening to this person? Because isn't that the thing? Is like you'll go, why do all the bad things happen to the good people, right? And the bad people get away with stuff. And it's like, why are people allowed to go through this? I I don't know. I just know that God is gonna be with us and He is going to be beside us through that. So people like her, when she looked back, she was like, Oh, you know what? I can see because God sent me, you know, my friends to check in on me and to remind me that people care and that I wasn't alone, you know, and God works in different ways, it's not the same for every person. And so we can talk about this. We can talk about how God has um been present, even if you haven't felt him. I would encourage you, you know what? If you have stories, you can email me. His light in the darkness podcast at gmail.com. I would be interesting to hear stories of different people and what they've been through, and how did you feel God's presence? Or was it a long time, you know? I've been through there was one um one experience, I know that I've talked about it, and it's in one of my books, Skeletons. Um, but I was in a relationship with someone, and he had taken me to a place that I could not get away. You know, it was you're here and basically you're not going anywhere. And it was a terrifying experience just because every day it was the threat of you're going to be, you know, left in the front yard and no one's going to come looking for you. You know, it was the whole typical um controlling, manipulative scenario. So those who fear for their life in a relationship, I genuinely understand because I didn't expect to live past a couple years. I'm shocked just because of that scenario. But I pray it every day. God, I'm asking you to save me. I know that you will when I don't know. I, you know, I don't see a light. I don't see anything positive in this scenario, like nothing. And it was a terrifying experience just because it was two years, like two years. Did your family check in on you? Yeah, no, not really. It was kind of like, uh, she's off with whoever, you know, this particular person, and she's in a different state, so meh, who cares? And so there was no like thinking that anybody was coming to look for me. There was no thinking that anybody was going to, you know, come and rescue me. It was me and it was God, and that was basically it. You know, I didn't have any friends in that area, I was secluded, and it was truly there's no way out, and this is just what life's gonna be. But that would be the normal mindset, you know. Did I feel God in that moment? In those moments, no. And it's not that he wasn't there, I just didn't feel. I kept telling God over and over, I believe that you will rescue me. I believe that you will come and you will you will deliver me. This is my mistake, you know. Nobody put themselves here except for me. It was my choice. In the beginning, didn't know that it would be like that by any means, or else I wouldn't have made that choice. But it's I accepted, you know, I did make the choice. So if this is the end, then it's the end, you know. It's not that I don't deserve it because in that mindset at that time, I was like, well, I'm here, and I'm here because I made the choice to be here. Now I wanted to leave, but leaving wasn't an option, at least not um to be successful with it. And I didn't feel God, I didn't feel him next to me. I just kept the faith and kept saying, I know you're gonna rescue me. And one day, literally one day, it didn't make any sense. There was no rhyme or reason to it. It was just one day, there was nobody around. And I'm just like, okay, this has to be God. I had a one-hour window, just one hour window that nobody was there. And it wasn't planned. It was just, I woke up that day and there was nobody there. And when I asked, you know, if anybody was gonna be returning, well, in an hour, that was my hour. I never packed so fast in my life, and I don't think I even packed everything. And I left, but I feel like that was God going, okay, I've seen your misery. I've seen you said that it was your, you know, it's not me that put you there, it was your own uh choosing. And it was like God was going, you've had your faith, and I'm here to save you. Here you go. And that was probably one of the most decisive, uh I guess decisive confirmation. There we go. Confirmation of such a strong faith because God did follow through. He didn't have to. There was nothing, you know, God doesn't have to do anything. Sometimes we'll sit there and say, Where's God? Why hasn't she showed up? Um, hello, God, I've been praying and you're not here. Well, my question is, and this is something I've learned, you know, are you giving as much as you're getting? Are you spending as much time with God in the relationship? I'm not talking about church, I'm not talking about going to all the activities at church. I'm talking about the one-to-one relationship with God. And are you giving that time? Are you putting in that time of friendship, relationship? Because if you're not, then how can we sit there and go, God didn't show up? Well, have you showed up for him? And you may say, Yeah, but he's God. Yes, you're right. He is God. And we expect God to just be there. But if, and I've used this analogy before, in other podcasts, is if a friend came to you and said, Um, you didn't show up. I expected you to, would you say, Of course I would show up? What is wrong with me? Or would you go, um, yeah, I'm not just here for a one-way street of doing everything possible for you just because you asked me to. You know, if somebody came to you, you wouldn't do that. You'd be like, they keep asking me for things. You know what? I'm done. I'm done. And God doesn't do that. God doesn't say, oh, well, you know what? She's asked. So um, yeah, you gotta show up and gotta give her whatever she wants. No, it is a I think that's why he gives us these tests of faith, because it's like, okay, how strong do you believe in me? Are you just asking me to show up when you want me to show up? Or are you going to show up for me? Which means I do have faith in you, Lord. I do have confidence that you will deliver me. Was it in my time frame? No. Two years is a long time, like a really long time. But that's just the way that it went, right? And we want God to appear on our timeline in our moment that we designate. And it's like, but how can we be so demanding? If we look at it like that and we step back and say, God is there. Now, mind you, if you're sick or something, obviously that's not your choice, but are you one keeping that strong faith, you know, in the moment? And two, are you, you know, spending time with God besides the, oh, well, you're supposed to show up with me, you know, for me. Are you spending that time and saying, I just want to feel your presence and sitting in complete silence and just listening for him and listening for his voice, or are you trying to do it in the midst of other things that you do? I think I mentioned on one of the other podcasts, if I feel like now we have to do social media for all our businesses and it is a task, you know, social media is a task. So we have somebody working for us that helps out with that, but still, it is time. And if I look on the internet at anything, I feel like, you know what, I'm giving my time for this, but I need to give my time for God. Like I'm expecting him to show up for me, but what am I doing? I'm surfing the internet. How about instead I just hang out with God for a little bit? Maybe read some scripture, maybe just sit in prayer, maybe listen to a song, you know, a couple songs, but something that basically says, hey, God, this is not a one-way street. This is a two-way street. This is a relationship. This is not, I'm not the leech that's coming in and asking and begging and keeping, you know, demanding that you are going to show up. And I think that that's just where we need to get is, and it's a reminder. You know, nobody's perfect and nobody has that in their mindset. I don't have it in the mindset. I constantly am reminding myself, you know what? Jesus first. Jesus first. Jesus first. Why? Because Jesus is always gonna be there. People will disappoint you. It's just facts. We're human, right? People will always disappoint. It's just part of humanity. God does not disappoint. Now he may not answer the prayers you want it, but there's always something more, and we're not privy to God's plans. I know I'm not. I haven't gotten the memo. At least not lately. But it's just searching for his presence. It shouldn't make us waver in faith. You know, if we have a faith in God, we have a strong faith and understand that he is not just gonna show up how we want him to. Do we understand his plan? No. Do we understand the events that we go through? No. Um, sometimes he's trying to shut a door to prevent us from going down a really bad road and we're getting mad. Why did you shut the door? Well, he probably did it to save us in some way. Sickness, well, sickness is just part of humanity. I mean, it's just having a faith that you know where you're going once God decides to take you, once your time is up, you know where to go. I always say salvation is free. You know, it's now, mind you, let's make sure we understand the difference of a relationship with God and uh structure of what you need to give to like religion or church or society or You see what I mean? There's two totally different things: relationship with God and then expectations of the world or humanity. God says salvation is free. There is, that's why I tell people, what is there to lose? Now, if you're talking about an organization or you need to give to a church, I need to follow this and this and this. Well, you're talking about structure that is over there. I'm talking about the relationship with God. Two totally different things. With God, what price is there? There's not a price. It's just, I believe in you and change me. You know, change me for the better. And I pray this even now. I'll be like, you know what, God? I just want to be better. Can you make me better? And better for you, better to do things that you want me to do. And I think if we come into it that way, you know, he's not asking for anything else except us to go, I believe in you. You know, you don't have to, I mean, he's gonna change you for the better. And there's nothing bad. That's the thing. A lot of people get caught up in this whole, oh, you're talking about a church and these specific rules or organizations or nonprofits or, you know, local whatever. I'm talking about the relationship with God. God does not require money, giving him things. I mean, the way that he changes us is so extraordinary because it's not for the, it's not for the worse. None of it is. None of it is for the bad. It's like, and the closer you come to him, the more you hear his voice and feel his presence and that peace that I'm talking about. It's like there's nothing like it. It's not the world is not worth it. You know what I mean? In other words, trying to people please. It's not worth it if you're gonna detour away from God. And it's because he will show up. You may not see him all the time, but you may 10 years later look back and go, he was there the whole time. He was. It's just sticking in that faith, in those bad moments, sticking in the faith in the stressful moments, sticking in the faith, knowing that God is showing up. He is there, he is showing up for you. But hey, you gotta have the faith as much as he has the faith, saying, She believes in me. Absolutely. If anybody questioned her faith, she would say, I believe in him. It's just, you know, really fascinating. We can't understand God, we can't understand Jesus, we can't understand all of that, you know, his love and how he shows up. We can't understand that because we are not perfect. It's like it's you sit there. Why would anybody show up for me? Like I'm nothing special. Or if you've done really bad things in your life and you're like, why would anybody show up for me? I don't deserve anything, I don't deserve this or that. That's what's so amazing about God is like He forgives and He is there continuously, even if we don't ask. He shows up. It's so cool. Sorry. God is like the coolest, you know, and Jesus, yeah. It's just faith is is tested. And are you going to be the strong faith knowing that God is gonna show up and what eternal life is? You know. Alrighty. So that was our podcast talking about having a strong faith and trying to feel God's presence in the difficult times. Please feel free to email me, his light in the darkness podcast at gmail.com. Follow us, like, subscribe, share. You know, let's get some light in the darkness. See you next time.